Sunday School Girl vs Entropy Man

Have you ever taken a class and felt like what you learned was completely useless? That it would not help you a whit in everyday life? It is knowledge, but it is not functional knowledge to you? Physics however, is functional knowledge. I have been amazed at how much physics plays a part of my everyday life. For example, gravity is a law you can count on. I have found from experience when you walk off a building, you die. It’s really true. Every time. If it weren’t for that Chesnut mare I would have been a goner. Fortunately I fell off the building, and in full Clint Eastwood style, onto my saddled horse and rode off into the sunset. Or maybe it was to the Seven Eleven to get a Slurpee. I can’t quite recall now.

However I have found that some physics laws actually come to life. For example, every Sunday I face my formidable foe “Entropy Man.” Entropy, in case you forgot physics 101, states that everything is moving from a state or order to disorder. Now nothing proves this principle faster than children. They are constantly moving from a state of order to disorder faster than the parental hand can move. Every Sunday I begin the process of trying to get ready for Sunday school. So you could call me “Sunday school girl.” Now for those of you who have children, and those of you who don’t, let me say that trying to get out the door for church on Sunday morning with children is like trying to run a race with sand bags tied to each leg. For each child you have it is an additional sand bag. So every week, with three twenty pound sand bags tied to each leg, I begin the attempt of trying to show up for church. First I go through the arduous process of cleaning up little Johnny and little Jimmy. I comb their hair. I tie their shoes. I tuck in their shirts. I give them a final spit shine. Then I sit them on a bench. I look them square in the eye and say something like this, “Now listen Jimmy and Johnny, mommy just has to change the baby and then we can go. So you two just sit there. Don’t speak, don’t breath and whatever you do, do not move. If you move, you die. Are we clear?” With rather large eyes they nod at me affirmatively. I turn back to the baby, who gives me her most beautiful smile. I talk to her sweetly as she coos at me as I change her diaper. This is the calm before the storm. I am so pleased. We are finally ready to go. Then I turn back to Jimmy and Johnny. In the six point three nano seconds it has taken me to change the baby, Johnny’s shoes are untied, his shirt is untucked and his hair is disheveled. Jimmy on the other hand has a new stain on the front of his white shirt, his shoes are completely missing, and there is gum in a place no gum should ever be. It is at this moment that I know my silent enemy Entropy Man has been here. I have never seen him. He works stealthily and silently. Sometimes I think I have caught a glimpse of the edge of his cape, but only a glimpse. I have only to admire his work. He is my great nemesis. I now turn back to the baby who has just pooped in her fresh diaper. She looks up at me and laughs. I sigh. It is 8:30 and we haven’t even tackled Captain Mini Van yet.

Photo credit: Kevin Conor Keller / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND